Feel unwanted by husband reddit His strategy was to triangulate you with your friend : make you feel insecure about yourself and your opinions about him (so you wouldn't discourage her to talk to him more), and make her feel like she was a special gem he picked out of every other girls because he talked to her and not to both of you. He doesn't like it, but I'm not available 24/7. But that’s a delusion. He broke up when he moved back to India. You’re nothing but a loving wife who wants to be intimate with her husband. So far the consensus is to learn to treat yourself with kindness, minimize time spent with people that make you feel bad and maximize time with the people that make you feel good. I feel like if I mention the positives without the setbacks that I'm just bragging and no one is gonna care that I'm We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. I don’t know how to deal with it, and I can’t have sex with him anymore because I feel he have sex with me just for check mark Archived post. We talked about sexual topics. I am overweight. I feel like my marriage is falling apart because I don’t feel connected to my husband of 10 years anymore. Sadly, relationships can shift and you gradually realize you’re simply two people under the same roof. Feb 2, 2025 · You feel an obligation to stay with them—a 2016 study revealed that people remain in a relationship they've invested much time and effort in, even if they aren’t particularly happy; What to do when your boyfriend makes you feel unwanted? It is often normal to feel unwanted at times in a relationship, as real life can often get in the way. express that you need to feel loved. TLDR: I’ve been with my husband since high school, and while he’s a great partner and we have a solid relationship, I’ve been feeling more like we’re just friends lately. ” Because men know women talk. Feb 7, 2025 · Healthy relationships are all about that connection and intimacy. So I [M 22] have been dating my partner [F 21] for about 4 months and have known her since late 2019. We all want to feel close and desired by our partners. you shouldn’t have to ask for these It may be worth having a discussion about feeling unwanted and/or insecure about frequency of sex decreasing. My sex drive has rocketed up in the past few years and I would happily do it every day at least once. Jun 7, 2021 · Feeling unloved and unwanted by your husband or boyfriend is a terrible and lonely feeling that can have an impact on every area of your life. It's your home and you want your privacy. If you feel unwanted in a relationship, you two need to sit down and have a serious conversation. We can get through this <3 They depend on me to help them, to cook, to clean, listen to them, comfort them, etc and I feel they love me for what I provide to them but I don’t feel actually loved for me. I want to feel wanted. Feeling unloved in a relationship is more common than one might think. I noticed a lot of my friends tend to hang out with their families regularly as their way of feeling loved. My girlfriend is not affectionate but I am very affectionate and crave affection and it makes me feel unwanted. My husband was acting in a way I have never seen him before, like we were these liberated, relaxed people open to anything. It sounds like your partner is acting in a distinctly unloving way. I feel like this period of peace and comfort is coming to an end and I feel entirely racked with guilt about how I’m feeling because I’m not looking forward to seeing him. I have been with my partner 27 (M) for 3 years… Marriage is often seen as a partnership built on love, trust, and companionship. Share Add a Comment Sort by: tl;dr - my husband make me feel worthless, ugly and unwanted. I hope they understand and keep your friendship. What should I do?" He's never made me feel unloved or unwanted, but the thought that if she hadn't died back then, my life wouldn't be what it is now keeps haunting me. The combination of these things (confusion about which details are important, my literalness, and me not wanting to sound like an ass) often have me explaining things to others in a very similar way to the way to your husband. I’m just starting to feel unwanted and undesired and I guess I’m building resentment. Because of this I started comparing myself to his ex (I know how it’s look like but I felt really bad and it stuck in my head), he had sex with his ex 4 times a For a lot of our married life I have been a pretty bad husband. I’m not sure what to do about it but it does bother me. I'd wager he wants to be intimate with the person he loves. Perhaps your previous partner betrayed you and left you with trust issues and insecurities. But honestly I don't think friendship Will remain the same. All of this has made me insecure, I don't like my body, in my head every girl is better than me, I feel like I am the worst he could get. It’s because you feel resentment towards him for making you feel unwanted. I’m going straight to the point. I also didn't help out as much as I should have earlier in our marriage. 23 votes, 12 comments. Or a bunch of other things. We can only feel loved, appreciated and seen if we first do it for ourselves. I lost weight, bought toys and nothing. I want to distinguish the difference from feeling loved and feeling busy. As soon as he went home he said he was sleepy and going sleep. Don't sugar coated. It hurts that it seems like he doesn’t even care about how I feel. Maybe you’ve noticed the same behavior with your current partner that made you feel unwanted by your previous partner. She may feel objectified but if he doesn't feel like he is objectifying her and even worse if he doesn't know she feels that way then how can Things change. It's a painful and disheartening experience to feel disconnected from your spouse, as if your presence and needs are overlooked or undervalued. The point is that this all seems like a communication problem. I want to talk to my husband(23m) But he makes me feel unwanted and stuff…And so I want to talk to someone… not necessarily another man. All my husband does is go to work and come home, shower, eat and sleep. He doesn't seem to be the same and since about two years into our relationship I have had to fight to get him into my bed every night since he prefers to sleep on the floor of the living room. I wonder if they feel similar or not. My husband and I have been 5 years together, we’ve been married for a year. My sex drive is very high compared to his. There were talks about how we can make it work between us, you know, differently like handjobs or something, may be 2 times a month or something, we're both tired after work anyway. We rarely laugh together because we don’t share the same humor. My husband and I both have health problems and whoever is feeling the best is the one that does the most. I often feel guilty when I can't do things. He is not a virgin but I am. And and and, you should also know that frequency does not have to = measure of love. The quality of sex has gone down as well. Two books that keep getting mentioned here that have helped me start to answer that for myself are: That feeling of being unwanted is quite common, I've never been to the "first choice" for my old friends and when they see you're changed for the best be ready that there is some jealousy. You're seeking for love outside of you to feel valued, appreciated and loved because you were endocrinated to feel this way. If going for one day doesn't work for him, yet his wife wouldn't have it any other way, then not coming at all isn't OP playing some petty "chase me" games, it's OP respecting his own time and mental health. This is all very new compared to the girl who would shower with me months before. So, I crave physical closeness with my husband and would love to sleep next to him every night. I feel like finding whoever makes you happy mutually is such a finite thing. Lately, I've had more problems than him but on days I can do things I'm up doing what I can and trying to give him a break. You can give him examples of things that might help if he is clueless and if he doesn't try to make changes then you deserve to be with someone who will make you happy. He does not seem interested in intimacy and that is giving me extreme self doubt and is impacting my self confidence. We all need to belong and feel loved. It has to be the perfect intersection of time and place. I feel like if he really loved me he would have a desire to be around me because it makes him happy not just to make me happy. I have some thoughts about ways you can approach conversations with him, to see if he’s willing to change his thoughts and actions here, but unless he is willing to make some BIG changes in terms of how he approaches sex with you, he just may not be someone who’s We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. My wife (30f) constantly pushes me (31m) away and makes me feel unwanted So I don’t really know what is going on in my relationship. I can't stop thinking that he doesn't want me and is only having sex to make me feel better, I can't stop thinking that I look bad and a bad match for him. Oct 11, 2017 · It's not about tradition. Now you want to go back to normal and pretend like nothing ever happened. I want to explore and try new things. I don’t want to go back to how I felt before he left. So naturally my thoughts start to wander unfortunately I feel like I have to beg him for affection and quality time. All of our conversations are transactional. I really hope you're okay, I know exactly how you feel. Tell him that if he is unwilling to make an effort that you feel the relationship cant't work out. I feel the same right now too. I have repeatedly out of desperation tried to communicate this to my husband only to get the same results where he doesn’t say anything or do anything different. My husband will do things when I ask so our "solution" to this particular issue (though still different) is for me to delegate. I have some thoughts about ways you can approach conversations with him, to see if he’s willing to change his thoughts and actions here, but unless he is willing to make some BIG changes in terms of how he approaches sex with you, he just may not be someone who’s 28 votes, 14 comments. However, it is rarely the case that partners fully lose desire for each other. If I feel up to it, I write and post poems on reddit. If I don’t do what you want, you are unhappy. Trying to force myself to go out to social scenes like bars but I honestly feel like I can't relate to 90% of people. I think he’s going to do the 24s i’m so worried and i don’t know if i’m being stupid and i just feel so rough and awful i have work tomorrow and need some sleep but i just can’t i feel so broken:(. Wanting to know her husband wants her and has to have her now kind of thing. Posted by u/No-Candidate-3948 - No votes and 1 comment Posted by u/indi____ - 5 votes and 5 comments Consequently, my excitement about soon seeing him has now turned into extreme panic and anxiety. Also, frequency often decreases over time. Say how it makes you feel unloved. Maybe you just need to find someone that completes you. I (26f ) recently have had some major issues with my husband (28m) after being married for six years. Oct 26, 2017 · I feel unloved and unwanted. Just be honest and tell them how you feel. “I can’t please you. But my husband is not husbanding. If I do what you want, you say I am only doing it because you told me to. She wants her husband to want to have sex with her, I think it's a very Normal thing to want in a relationship at one point or another. The guy for some reason told us that he had a seven inch penis. This may seem drastic but it's what you feel and if he doesn't care enough to make you feel loved then he's not worth it! I hope he comes around and good luck! I feel I have my own life and friends but I’m afraid that despite spending time with me etc he really would rather be doing his own thing alone like playing video games or whatever. However, feeling unwanted in a relationship is extremely common. I’m 29 he is 34. Otherwise, I'll stick on a comfort movie/series or take a long bath and listen to some good music. It just makes me feel unwanted and undesired even though he says that’s not the case. Posted by u/Its-athrowaway- - No votes and no comments Your husband is not in the wrong for feeling inadequate or like you settled. I’ve talked to him about it before but it hasn’t changed. Let them know that you don't feel valued; that you feel he isn't putting in the efforts to meet your needs. OP I don't have much advice except to talk to your SO again. You were unconsciously seeking revenge. With her US exposure and experiences might be more mature and wanting a partnership, not just a marriage with sex. Currently I don’t feel lonely all the time because I have one friend who just makes me feel as thought he is there. When I lost weight and hit the gym high school friends didn't get in touch with me anymore, they're not in our movement at all, they're more like "misery My husband didn't touch me for a long time and hardly ever kissed me, he was soft all the time, during sex he got soft, the time I saw him hard was when he woke up, but never on me. if you haven’t already, i’d say it’s time to crank up the pressure by saying that you need him to change more than a tiny bit for you to get what you need. I'm struggling hard with this right now too. Anyway I feel like sometimes, at least for me, that feeling of "I want to be shown I'm special" actually applies not just to my husband but to how I'm taking care of myself, and when I'm being less "Do all the things for everyone until I'm fried" and slowing down and treating myself as special, I'm generally not bothered so much about him not OP signals that he feels unwanted and unheard, and I can see why he would feel that. He will always feel like second place now, to him this journey of exploration with you was important but he was willing to forego this because he loves you. My (m17) boyfriend of 4 months always leaves (f16)me alone at social events. Almost zero confidence. He’s 5 years older than me. It might not even be about your past relationships. It’s the small things he does to make me feel like he is there for me and I love him for it . Jun 16, 2015 · As a result, too many partners feel undesired and fall into perpetual cycles of avoidance that constrain sexual desire. We just don’t have anything in common but our kids. I also feel my husband treats me cruddy; I feel he sees me as a person to come home to and someone to take care of him but besides that I don’t feel love from him. Jun 10, 2022 · Maybe you felt unwanted by all your past partners at some point in the relationship. It may be helpful to remember that your feelings are valid, even if you feel unwanted for no apparent reason. In this post, we’ll take a different look at what may be going on underneath the surface when you’re feeling unloved and unwanted by your husband and share a new perspective. I’m beginnng to wonder if there could be someone else. EDIT- he isn’t replying at all and any advice would be appreciated My girlfriend and I have been together for 2 years 4 months and few days, we’ve been online for the entirety of it, we started dating when she went… Throwaway because my hubby knows my reddit. Our second year of marriage only resulted in 4 P&V interactions of course there's other stresses that play a part, but feeling my husband had no more interest in me sexually took its toll. I have been better dad and husband the last few years. My wife refuses to be affectionate at all unless it’s what she wants. It is hurtful to feel undesired, and it can be a powerful turn-off. But after marriage there has been a decline, i feel like my husband takes it for granted, he feels like he can get it whenever he wants anyways. It started a few months ago when he told me he wanted to get a paternity test for my ex best friends three year old daughter. Not made my wife and family a priority and spent too much time with video games and friends. however, it sounds like you’ve given him ample opportunities for this. But love is inside of us. "Recent arranged marriage, I(25F) feel unwanted/unloved by my husband(28M) who was in US for studies and had two relationships there. I love to give head. I felt like such a monster for even just thinking all the time I wanted to have sex with him. So I'm a 42(M) married to a 40(F) for 15 years. Our relationship has been more or less fine the entire time, we rarely fight and generally get along. Others and their attitudes (and the way we interpret them) are only a reflection of what we feel inside. If this was about just sex he could see a fucking prostitute, or buy a sex doll. You know, that is kinda flagging down everything under the sun, screaming "insecurities of I still think she’s perfect and she completes me. It's about wanting to feel wanted. You should know that's relatively natural. He feels I am impossible to please. However, there are times when even the closest of relationships can leave us feeling lonely and invisible. Let him know this gently, tell him how you feel, stay honest and open - and hopefully things can start to move forward for you :) Nov 20, 2024 · At times I tell my husband I am too drained by his constant negative outlook and I'm sorry, but I am not available right now. Posted by u/Relative-Risk3510 - 1 vote and 2 comments It's one thing to feel seperated from friends and not invited to things anymore or feeling misplaced but it's another to have my husband push me away. That is the question we are all here trying to answer. Our relationship is generally good besides some arguing and conflicts. It's been working so far and I can tell we have established a much more even spread routine. I don’t want a sexless relationship, I love this girl with all my heart, but she just seems like a different person and I couldn’t see myself not having sex long term. 28 votes, 14 comments. Apr 16, 2021 · People who feel rejected or unwanted may be displaying traits that turn others off, such as bluntness or self-absorption. Posted by u/PresenceSpirited - 2 votes and 2 comments Feb 3, 2025 · What causes people to feel unwanted? There are many different things that can make you feel unwanted by your spouse. But I feel unvalued, unattractive, unwanted, and unloved. It's not. If you want to have sex with other people, that’s fine, and it happens quite often at your age. Something before made you kinky and adventurous but hubby ain’t it and now he knows. So, if you feel like your partner isn't interested, it's normal to be concerned. Do educate yourself more on how partnerships work in today’s age and time 🙂 PS: your reddit history makes you seem as very very problematic yes, there are certainly instances of people changing to treat their partners well. I feel like I’m the one initiating sex 90 percent of the time. Assessing one's own personal characteristics and identifying areas of First time posting here. He’s not meeting your needs because he doesn’t care. I get irritated with my husband but on a much much more watered down version than this. Honestly I think that OP and her husband should take that 5 love languages test and like always communicate. If I don’t ask him for sex he will never Though I 100% believe your husband has complete rights to choosing how to live his life, if you choose not to have an abortion, worst case is your husband will resent you and end the relationship. We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. I’m not asking to be together 24/7. Jul 12, 2022 · Feeling unloved and unwanted is when you’re denied the most basic human need. There is no way of telling them to stop and not making them feel awkward or unwanted. Feeling unwanted by my husband From the beginning of our marriage i noticed a shift, before we got married our sex life was amazing, we saw each other twice a week and had sex at least twice. We have 2 kids, 12 and 7. This was a tough read. I’m 27 (F) and I feel like I’m wasting my life. Sometimes when people get married/are in a committed relationship for a long time, they put less effort in because they think they already have you locked down forever. My husband is overworked, probably has depression and undiagnosed ADHD/ASD, but he "doesn't believe in therapy" and hates labels. Posted by u/BestBasket9136 - 5 votes and 6 comments Mar 26, 2019 · I can understand why you aren’t feeling loved and wanted. . Why do I feel unwanted in my relationship? I would try talk to him again about it. All I want is to feel wanted. Posted by u/[Deleted Account] - 2 votes and 9 comments We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. With multiple discussions about how it made me feel unwanted with no results, I fell into a pretty deep depression. When we’re alone he’s all over me but whenever… 3. We were talking about how we're both feeling in this situation, how she understands and feels bad about it and how I feel bad because I feel selfish bringing this up. When we are together, there’s almost nothing to talk about. My husband would have been her husband, and the kids would have been their kids, and I'd just be alone. My husband started to to get all weird and say that he had an "8 inch" penis, which is not really true. Hanging out with acquaintances, volunteer work, and clubs do not make me feel loved- they just make me feel busy. I need time to recharge. Today, I met another guy who completely caught my attention without even trying, and I realized how long it’s been since I felt that kind of attraction - I feel awful. It can be difficult to know whether those things are real or imagined, but sometimes perception is reality. If you choose to go through with the abortion, worst case is you resent your husband AND YOURSELF(possibly forever), and end the relationship. Your husband doesn't get a pass because he has depression. Whenever someone talks about an unwanted & sad FMC i always remember this book {This Heart of Mine (Whiskey Creek, #8) by Brenda Novak} This is not exactly like the book you have read or asked for "Marriage in trouble with jerk husband & unwanted wife" or "Unnoticed Wallflower fmc" here she is unwanted in a sense of outcast in the town, no one believes her even MMC , she is misunderstood, it's It kills me. OP's stupid "I might let one side of our marriage open" comment further cements that she has zero fucking clue how her (Soon to be Ex-Husband) Husband is feeling. People only want to get intimate where they feel comfortable with. khxh wixkh jlxjt mxaq uhhfo ogdzq vvfq qxr gvoqaxf lmpxbfdo hgchn lfdievb uxgica lutq cvkdvn